Tuesday, December 23, 2008

You seen Tina's baby?

Well I'm sorry I ain't written in a couple of days but it's hard to send emails when all you do is work and spend hours and hours at the police station wit Tina.  I'm sure you already heard but I'll tell you anyway just so you get the facts and not some fabricated, exagerated tale from Shirley or Julie, who, by the way, has another giant herpes breakout on her lip.  And SHE trying to take the focus off the fact that it's ANOTHER herpes outbreak by sayin that if you look directly into the cold sore you can see a clear image of Kanye West. I took a picture of it wit my cell phone, I'll show you.  I told her she should cut it off wit a paring knife and try to sell it on Ebay or to a medical freak museum.  I heard about places like that.  They got two headed babies in jars.
Anyway, me and Tina went to the Transfer on Tuesday Night and Tina brought the baby cause she knows the bouncer and he lets her bring the baby into the bar.  So she bring the baby in a stroller and YOU KNOW how after Tina has two drinks she in the bathroom every FIVE minutes?
Always sayin how she always has to pee. "My bladder, my bladder".  My ass!   Everyone know she just bein cheap with her shit...  Which is fine cause her shit is as cheap as her fabric softner. Did I tell you about the fabric softner?  Remind me to later if I didn't. Anyway, Tina went in the bathroom to "pee" and I was bored cause someone was playin some song on the jukebox I never heard before, so I went out and had a cigarette.  I didn't think somethin would happen to the baby.  But Tina comes runnin out on the sidewalk screamin like she at church ...."WHERE MY BABY??!!  OH MY BABY!!  WHAT YOU DO WITH MY BABY?" And it aint like she told me I was IN CHARGE of the baby.  I'm lookin at her freakin out and I see she got that BIG white ring around her nose the way she always does when she come out of the bathroom cause that girl NEVER checks herself.  And I wasn't gonna tell her about it but I figured the cops might be comin because of the missing baby.  So I said "Hey Teen...You better wipe your nose... and since we're gonna be up lookin for the baby...do you got any more?"  And that bitch lied right to me and said no.   But whatever, she had to suck dick for that coke.  

So, we went back in the bar and got a shot so we could calm down and Tina asked the bartender if she seen a baby.  But the bartender was in some BITCH ASS mood and start yellin at Tina 
cause she remember the last time Tina lost the baby in the bar.  I didnt think that that's what Tina needed to hear at the time, but I GUESS she deserved it.  So the bartender tell Tina to call 911 but Tina still ain't got no cell phone cause she lost it on that road on the way home from death row on that day you didn't pick her up and the cops still aint given it back to her.  So Tina asks the bartender to call 911 and that bitch said "NO".  She all worried that the bar would get in trouble.  So Tina made ME do it.  And I ain't never called 911 before and it scared me cause you don't know if your call will end up on the TV or the Internet.   But you know if it WAS  on the TV that Tina's Momma would see it and Tina would never be allowed to take the baby to the bar again.  That's just how Tina's mom is.

So I told the 911 lady what happened...how me and Tina was walkin home from church and Tina really needed to use the bathroom so we stepped inside for a second just so Tina could 
pee and then after I bent down to tie my shoe...someone stole the baby.  I told her I did a double knot just so it seemed like it would take more time.  The 911 lady told me they'd send someon
e right out.  DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR?  Remember that time Shakey's old girlfriend Fortune stole my coat and I called 911?  They said the SAME THING and it took 11 hours for someone to come.   So I told Tina we should go to Amber to see if Minnie Ginny was there and ask her if she seen the baby.   But as soon as we walk outside there's like 4 cop cars all over!!!!  It's funny how they respond faster to different things. 

Anyways, Tina's baby still missing.  Tina just walkin around screaming "Danilynn!!!!!!  MY BABY!  Danilynn!!!"  I KNOW that baby was still next to the pool table when we were done the 2nd game, but I can't say for sure that she was still there when I went out for that cigarette.  So I really don't know if it's my fault or not.  But the cops said they'd be on the lookout for a baby.  So keep your fingers crossed.  I'm so glad Tina ain't got no phone right now because the last thing I wanna talk about right now is her missing baby.  I gotta go.  I'll let you know if they find Tina's baby.

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