Sunday, January 25, 2009

Tina Street

You know how we always say "Just cause Tina's crossin the street don't mean you should too"?   You know cause of that one time she cross against the light and got hit by that car.  But it is true and everyday I come into some situation with Tina and I always say to myself "Just cause Tina's crossin the street don't mean you should too".  Well after we get up today Tina say right away how she gonna find Shakey's shady cousin and how she gonna make him give our (MY) money back.  Girl I KNEW $20 a ticket was too cheap.  Anyway me and Tina walk over to Shakey's to see if Wiley there and RIGHT AT THE TIME me and Tina's walkin up Tina seen Wiley walkin out!  And you know the way Tina jump when she see a dollar on the ground?   That's how she jump at Wiley!  Tina just charge all up on him and grab him by his belt and throw him right on the ground. That dude was FLAT on his back.  Tina got her foot in his face screamin "NOW WHAT?"  Then she start saying how she want her (MY) money back and she start kickin the dude in the ribs and spittin on him and talkin bout how he BETTER have the money.  The dudes layin on the ground and cryin real hard and beggin her to stop and Tina kick him like 15 times and after the 15th time she kick him she realize it ain't even Wiley.  Tina there kickin the shit out of Showcases little brother Plinko.  Plinko start screaming "TINA!!!!!" but you know how she get once she get kickin.  She don't stop.  Tina kicks once, you know she kickin 5 times.    She felt bad when she realized and saw the blood on Plinko's face.  I hope Showcase ain't mad.

That's when the bad shit happen.  Tina go UP TO Shakey's front door and start bangin on it and makin noise and yellin motherfucker and sayin how she gonna get her money even if she have to burn the place down!  And that's when I said "Just cause Tina's crossin the street don't mean you should too".  As soon as I hear her say "burn down" and then put that brick through the window I just left.  I wasnt crossin that street.  Cause you know she serious.  I hope she didn't burn down Shakey's place, i got shit stored there.

On the Nation's Nerves

Well, me and Tina's back now but I still ain't sure I'm ready to look at you face to face because everytime I look at you I'm gonna think of how you made me suffer with Tina at the inauguration.  I ain't even told you that when we was listening to Barak Obama give his speech and he was sayin all that shit about buildin a brighter future, and fixing shit, and making America shine again, Tina start yellin "SHOW AND TELL BITCH!"  She all messed up on pain pills and mimosas, and everytime Obama say he gonna do somethin, Tina start yellin it.  And she still always say it twice. And NOBODY around us thought it was funny.  CAUSE IT WASN'T.  I ain't never been with somebody that was on my nerves and on the nerves of more people at one time than when Tina was on my and everyone elses nerves right then.  That bitch had people SHUSHING her and you know she don't like people shushing her so she start yellin about how it's her President too, and how every voice count and how she got a right to free speech and how it say so in the Bible.  She need to shut up sooner.  Then all the millions of people around us got a attitude to ME cause I'm her friend and I should do something about her.  And YOU KNOW I wanted to tell people to fuck off but Tina was acting so bad and I knew they was right to be pissed so I told a lot of people that she was crazy and that's why she screamin and have her head wrapped up in pink.  I told them she was from a "home".  I'm just sayin, I don't know what pain pills she on, but they don't mix with mimosas.  That girl need to stick to beer wit that shit. 

And I KNOW you heard that the two tickets I THOUGHT I had to the Presidents Ball turned out to be fake.  And YOU KNOW as soon as Tina see Shakey's shady cousin Wiley who
 sold us them tickets she gonna kick his ass.  Cause we went up to that ball and even though we slept in a box the night before we still look good.  And then we get up to the door and give the dude the tickets and he get all up on his radio right away for security and then they drive us away on a cart and then they lock us in a room and ask us bout WHERE we bought the tickets!  Tina said we got em from Shakey's shady cousin but she say she didn't know his name.  They just let us go after that and told me to make sure I got her back safely.  

Well, we back now.  And I guess I forgive you but you better gimme some weed or somethin.  I'll probly call you.