Well if you finally got your head off the dick of that guy you met New Years Eve then I know you heard that me and Tina got in a fight at the Safeway. It don't stop. It don't matter if I drink with her or not she always get us in trouble. That's just Tina. But me and her was in the butter and cheese aisle and this BITCH with nasty frizzy grey hair walk by and I SEEN HER look Tina up and down and up and down and then she walk past us and she say "Someone a little OLD to be dressin like that." And YOU KNOW that Tina dont like to be told how to dress. So I turn to Tina and I say "You hear what that bitch just say?" But Tina DIDN'T hear what the bitch said and then she made me tell her what the bitch said and when I told her what the bitch said she freaked out the way you already thinkin she freaked out. Worse. Tina walked right across the aisle to the eggs and she threw a egg right at that bitches head and when the bitch turned around Tina just look at her and say "NOW WHAT?" AND I KNEW that from right at that second on, I was gonna be banned from the Safeway. Cause you know she don't just throw around "NOW WHAT?" I seen her break a bitches finger once after a "NOW WHAT?"
Anyway, this bitch turns around and starts yellin at Tina sayin she ain't no teenager and she don't even need to be dressing like that and Tina start yellin LOUDER than the other bitch about how that bitch need to stop walkin around the Safeway in her pajamas actin like
she a judge on Project Runway and how she need to get over to the shampoo aisle for some conditioner for her hair and some RID for her crabs and some Masingail for her pussy! She screamin it like a crazy person, wavin her arms and pointin her finger. Then she throw another egg at the bitches head. She don't stop. And when the second egg hit the bitch Tina just kept yellin "NOW WHAT...NOW WHAT?!" That bitch probly did a Shakey in her pants. And I guess because Tina pulled out her knife some asshole called security and they put me and Tina in the little Safeway prison...you been in there, you know what it look like.
I ain't gettin into details but the bitch said she didnt want to press charges cause she knew what was good for her and her teeth, but them bitches at Safeway made Tina pay for them two eggs that she threw at that bitches head. I thought they might make her buy the rest of the carton too cause how they gonna sell a ten pack of eggs? And as soon as Tina paid they took our pictures and banned us "for life". They said we aint even allowed to use Safeway.com. How the fuck am I supposed to live without the Safeway? Tina need to learn to shut her fuckin mouth.