Sunday, June 28, 2009

Oh, Hey Girl!

I am JUST askin and I AINT sayin but what the fuck runnin shit do I have do to make sure that Fortune remember that she even HAVE a baby.  She as bad as Tina.  There somethin I wanted to tell you about Tina... can't remember what it is now. I'll think of it.   Anyway, Fortune call me and say "Hey girl I need you to CALL me at SEVEN in the MORNING and make sure my ass get up for the baby" You know, cause she need to feed it and shit.  And SHE KNOW that I ain't even up at seven and I don't even get up before The View come on.  That bitch actin like she can't even set no clock.  Wellllllll...maybe she AIN'T able to do that.

Fortune keep runnin off all over the place, she go to Fresno and Sacramento on Monday and Wednesday and next week she say she goin to Union City on Saturday and YOU KNOW she party when she there, but she keep leavin the baby with me sayin she be back on Monday, and YOU KNOW that she ain't even gonna come back til Tuesday and she KNOW that if she come home any later than 12 noon on Tuesday then that baby gonna be on its own cause I got a standing one o'clock appointment at Bibbies on Tuesday and YOU KNOW I ain't giving that shit up. Fortune doin the whole Immaculate Conception tour, doing preaching on street corners,  sayin how no man ain't never fucked her for a long time and that she have the biggest miracle baby since Mary had that baby.   she SAY that people believe it but she
 say she don't want to EXPLOIT the baby yet so she gonna wait til she four months old to put her in front of cameras.  That's just how she think.  Cause you shouldn't be in front of cameras from the time you were born.  And I don't know if I told you but Fortune name her baby after  Tina's middle name, Cher.  Damn, it was SOMETHIN about Tina that I wanted to tell you about.  I can't remember.

Mary call me today from Dolores Park durin that big, gay party and she say she seen Shakey's younger brother Stable rollin around with some dude on a pink blanket sprayin water on each other.  I'm just sayin.  They could have been suckin each others dicks and THAT would have been just as gay, but maybe even not!  Stable always had such pretty girls with him. 

I need to go, there a conclusion of Deal or No Deal on at 9AM on GSN, and I need to make sure I get up in time.  This bitch either gonna win $2 or $750, 000.  Them cable bitches took my TIVO away, so I need to be awake.

I'll call you tomorrow

Thursday, June 11, 2009


And I don't mean "Tina is dead" the way I meant it when I found out she ate that last piece of chocolate from my Whitman's Sampler OR the way I meant it when I found out she sucked every dick I sucked AT THE SAME TIME I was sucking it.  Well, not at the SAME TIME but DURING the time I was sucking it.   ANYWAY, Tina died.  That's all I know right now.  She dead.  And there a chance that she was huffing shit at Bibbie's the afternoon she died but that is just a rumor and YOU KNOW I aint into rumors.  But I got TWO calls about how Tina ain't with the living no more.  God rest her nasty soul.  I'll get back to you with details.

Saturday, June 6, 2009


Oh Girl sometime I wish I live in North Dakota with you cause then I wouldn't have to put up with no insane in the dumb brain shit that I gotta put up with since Fortune have that baby. I think the hospital or Facebook should have made her take a "are you ready to be a parent" test or some test that tests your parenting before they release her into the wild.   I'm just sayin, FOUR DAYS after she have the baby......  they got that big earring convention in Sacramento that Fortune go to every year.  And I THOUGHT that maybe she just say fuck it and not go cause she just had that baby AND because she didn't say nothin ABOUT goin.  And YOU KNOW she wake up that mornin and say "Hey bitch you gotta look out for my baby cause i'm goin to the earring convention."  And then she went!  And AT FIRST I thought it would be alright..4 day old baby for 6 hours,  but then i remember... and YOU KNOW what I'm talkin about... Fortune hook up with some dude EVERY year at the earring convention!!!  That bitch stick me with that baby for a day and a half!!!  I dropped it off at Tina's and let Tina's baby play with it.  I think they had fun.  

Anyway, I don't remember if I told you but Fortune never ended up cuttin off Jimmy Doolittle's
balls. I guess she couldn't get at his balls so she just stab him twice in the stomach instead. And I thought I fuckin piss myself into a coma when they was wheelin her out of the hospital and that petal head come walkin up like he even care he the baby daddy OR he a day late, OR that maybe there a chance that Fortune aint gonna be pissed. And right as Fortune seen him she take out that knife that Julie give her for her baby shower and stab him twice in the stomach.  Girl, knife in one hand, baby in the other...and the wheelchair never stopped moving!  That bitch stabbed Jimmy twice as the nurse was wheeling her out and that nurse never even seen it.  YOU KNOW Fortune good with a knife!!!  I just look  back and laugh at him.  

Fortune say she still gonna stick with that Immaculate Conception story and maybe call People Magazine in the morning but I think that she ain't gonna look very angelic once people find out she stab Jimmy Doolittle.  Cause YOU KNOW he gonna tell.