Girl, I do not know if you could feel the earthquake we had here today all the way out in North Dakota but I am just sayin that it felt TO ME like you probly COULD feel it cause that shit shook my walls and almost knock down that vase I got from Valentines 2004, and YOU KNOW I'd start lightin shit on fire if anything ever happen to that vase. Tina's baby almost knock down that vase one time and I make Tina take the baby home. I shouldn't need to Super Glue my true love vase down to the table just cause Tina can't keep her baby down.
Tina say she was at Fortune's when that earthquake hit and as soon as the walls start shakin, Fortune start actin like she in labor. She callin 911...Yellin how "I'm stuck in a Earthquake and I'm HAVIN MY BABY." And YOU KNOW She just thinkin she gonna have the first "quake baby" or have her 911 tape played on Inside Edition or somethin and make money off it. She don't stop. I think the hospital is gettin pissed at her for comin in with so many fake labor stories and they SHOULD be pissed cause YOU KNOW they got more important shit to deal with like OD's, stabbings and people puking up blood on their shoes! But that ain't how Fortune think. I think the hospital should have a big poster of Fortune hanging up that say "I ain't due til May 19th..." They should have a little countdown calendar there so they know EXACTLY how many days they got til they gotta REALLY put up wit that bitch when she in labor. I HOPE she is filmin that shit and that she is filming ALL that shit and when she release it to theaters she don't even cut one second from it cause it is gonna be the best movie of the year and win a Oscar. I'm just sayin.
Tina don't work at the Old Rust no more. Remember I told you how I thought that other bitch who work there piss in my drink and turn my Hypnotiq green? Well I guess that put some idea in Tina's head cause the other day she had these bitches piss her off and YOU KNOW that usually she just spit in the drinks, but she take the tray right in the bathroom and she piss in their drinks! But she so nasty about it...she take four pints of beer in the bathroom and she don't just piss a bit on them, she piss SO HARD into all four glasses that when she bring the tray back to the table, all the glasses got steam coming out of them!! She need to learn some tact when she piss in people's drinks. I'm surprised she last two weeks...especially after that thing with that dude's camera that I didn't even tell you about and I ain't gonna right now either. Ask me about it. Anyway they fire her.
And I GUESS the MUNI people are still lookin for her and she is STILL wearin Chrystal's wig and I meant to tell you that Chrystal got a new BLACK wig and it don't go no better with her skin than that purple one. She need a wig advisor or something. But Shakey say he heard from his friend at 850 Bryant that a lot of evidence was lost in that earthquake and they might not have a case. Tina so lucky all the time.