Did Tina send you that recipe?

Did Tina send you that recipe that her mom been usin for that green bean casserole?  Well I hope you didn't make it cause that shit look as nasty as Tina at 2 AM on a Saturday.  Don't tell her I said that either cause she sensative about how she look after the club closes. I'm just sayin that Shirley went to that Christmas thing at Tina's Moms that you weren't invited to and she said Tina's mom made her green bean casserole with three sticks of butter and NO cream of mushroom soup.  And that don't make no sense.  That's just like, green beans swimming in butter with some soggy onion crisps on top of it.  Tina said that her mom makes it like that cause she's lactose intolerant but I told Tina that butter HAS intolerance in it and she didn't believe me.  It don't stop with her.  She said she was gonna send you the recipe, but I'm just sayin.

How you doin with your Christmas shoppin?  Me and Tina went to Target on Friday.  Tina stole a comforter!  That girl can shoplift!  You know she better watch out cause she don't need not one more thing on her record, but that comforter is so nice that I would have stolen one too cept Tina took the last one. .  She said she gonna go back next week and get the cover for it.  Tina told me that if I'm gonna do any shoplifting I should do it durin the holidays cause there's a lot of people in the store and the security can't keep their eye on everyone at the same time so the odds are better.   Sometimes she's smart like that.  All I stole today was a pack of Mentos and I was so scared I pissed myself when I was walking out to the parkig lot.  

What happened to you at DeeDEE's party on Thursday?  You said you were goin out back to throw up and you never came back.  I looked for you in the bushes.  Remember that time at Shakey's when I found you in the bushes?.......With Shakey on top of you.!!!!!!!!!!!!

I watched him doin it to you for like a minute before I said anything.  MMMMMMMM.  You so lucky.  But what happened the other night after you puked?  Did you see Shakey out at the  bushes again?  it ain't my business, but I'm just sayin that you could have said goodnight.  I still got your leftovers in my fridge but I might have to use them tonight if anyone comes over.  IF you know what I mean.