Thursday, January 21, 2010

Fortune's Baby Flew Away!

I do not know if this made it to the news out there yet but I am sure that it will and I would not be surprised if it make it to the news segment where they show dumb ass people doing stupid ass shit. All I know is that I cannot talk to anymore reporters or answer anymore questions from no one. I got me 2 frozen pizzas and a bottle of Tanquery in the kitchen and I don't even need to leave my apartment. Cause I know as soon as I do there gonna be some reporter IN MY FACE asking me questions about Fortune and why she ever allowed to have a kid.

Anyway, we been havin these piss down rainstorms and there been thunder AND lightning AND hail AND big winds and Tina even don't have no electric in her apartment cause a tree fell on the transformer or some shit. That's what she SAYS, but you know that bitch didn't pay her
bill. Cause I KNOW that she went to Bibbie's on Tuesday and got her finger nails AND her toe nails done and she paid extra for diamond flaked tips. She do this
EVERY winter, then she call people and say "Hey bitch, can I sleep at your place?" And I know that bitch ain't stayin with me. I got all my lights out so she can't tell I'm home. But that ain't even what I'm talkin about.

So Fortune decide that it be a good idea to take her baby for a walk right at the same time the sky was pitch black and ready to storm harder than it did in Wizards of Oz. I swear, I was at my front window and there go Fortune and the baby strollin down the street, that bitch hittin all the bumps in the sidewalk and I seen the baby start bouncin out of the stroller cause she ain't even got it strapped in. So I open my window and I start yellin "Fortune you crazy bitch!! Why the fuck you bring your baby out in the rain for?" And Fortune say "Oh, it's gonna rain?.....Girl you got a umbrella I could use?" So I gave her that giant umbrella we stole from the umbrella bucket at Bus Stop Burger but I SAID to her "Hey Fortune, why don't you take the baby home?" because that's something that someone who THINKS would say. And that bitch tell me that if the baby don't go for a walk in the stroller at 2 O'clock every afternoon then the little bitch is cranky all day. I told her that the baby gonna be MORE cranky if it drown in a flood or get hit by lightning but she didn't care.

Well I ain't back to watching Deal or No Deal for but 5 minutes and then my doorbell ringing and ringing and ringing and I hear "GIRL...THE BABY. HELP ME GET THE BABY!" Yes she did, she said "get" the baby. Which mean that the baby probably ain't in the stroller no more. Or that the baby IS in the stroller but the stroller is floatin down the street. So I run outside...IN THE RAIN...and there Fortune...WITHOUT the Bus Stop Burger umbrella...and she screaming and pointing and running and screaming. And we get down the street and I look up and there Fortunes baby, holding the umbrella and stuck up in a tree. That bitch said it was too hard to carry the umbrella AND push the baby stroller so she make the baby hold the umbrella. They didn't even make it 2 blocks before that baby got swooped up and stuck in that tree in front of the fish store. Girl, there was police and ambulance and news vans andevery nosy bitch in the neighborhood and it was a mess. Fortune just lucky the baby only got minor scratches cause they gonna be watching her ass.

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